1. Prepare and self-reflect:

Identify and process any strong emotions first. What buttons of mine are being pushed? Is my reaction proportional? What do I want to accomplish here? Considering the timing, the setting, and the tone of the conversation is also key to success.

2. Objectively describe the situation:

First, communicate the person’s value. Then, state the situation, the specific actions or behaviours, and share the impacts.

3. Listen and respond:

Listen with an open mind and explore the other person’s perspective. They might share useful information leading to a solution.

4. Agree on a way forward:

Co-create solutions or next steps based on what the conversation has revealed.

5. Restore relationships:

If the conversation is about misconduct or harm to another person, look for a way to repair relationships. Ask, “What needs to happen to make this better?”